My personal theme for the first half of 2015 is exploring what it means to stand in my power.
I was going through a difficult situation recently and a very good friend of mine urged me to ‘stand in my power’ by not continuing an unhealthy dialogue with someone. It hit me like a ton of bricks – the realisation that I have absolutely no idea what it looks like to stand in my own power.
I look back to my childhood and cannot think of any role models of people in my life who stood in their power. I think of my own mother and how she allowed people to walk over her, and was resentful and critical, unhappy and two faced instead of standing up and saying ‘NO’.
It’s really making me explore what it would look like to stand in my own power. What does it mean? How do I value myself enough to realise I am worth it? And even if I realise it, how do I DO it?! Something juicy for me to explore over the next few months.
My good friend who first urged me to stand in my power, interprets that as meaning “to not be swayed / moved by people or situations or circumstances”. I’m not sure I fully agree with that, or actually I’m not sure I agree with that at all. Because of COURSE we are going to adapt and be flexible and change our view depending on people / situations / circumstances. And that’s ok, right? I wouldn’t want to live my life ploughing forward regardless of the impact on those around me. Does that make me weak? Or is that a characteristic in myself I should love and value? Where is the line, between being loving to others and yet standing in my own power; being loving to others and still loving to myself ; being compassionate and understanding and yet having limits and boundaries with regards to having my own needs and desires met? So sticky, so new, so uncomfortable and difficult.
I need to work out where my personal boundary lies, and how to stand in my power and love myself, while still aligning myself with my core values of love, compassion, kindness and empathy towards others. My biggest struggle in this area is giving people excuses for their behaviour. When something happens I usually think “everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes”, and I try and be compassionate and understanding. I can see how that means sometimes I may be trodden on, let down, or my own needs go unmet. I want to figure out how to set healthy boundaries and hold my truth while still being compassionate and understanding towards others.
More questions than answers in this post, but it’s the start of my journey. I am going to try and think of some examples of women, either in real life or famous, who stand in their own power, so that I can really immerse myself in what it looks like (though of course it looks different for everyone – I just really am not sure how to do it so reading about and learning about women who do it will really help).
I’d love to hear: what does ‘standing in your power’ mean to you? What is your understanding and experience of it? How do you find that sweet spot between being compassionate to others yet making sure your own needs are met too??!